"Like if you want to do a breast cancer awareness month concert, you could play women/empowering music, like Beyonce or Clara Schumann!"

"Wait - I could get a meal, then a kids meal, and it would be totally fine!"

"No, you aren’t doing that."

"Don’t tell me what to do!"

Genetics…pssh

"Other than the fact that we’re different races, we could totally pass for each others’ daughters."

When science fails

My science pen doesn’t work! Science has failed me for the last time. 

LBD

What is a good little black dress for a banana?

What?

Like for the body type? Like no boobs or butt?

What kind of bananas are you eating? 

"College is just one really intelligent nudist colony."

"Dylan O’Brien is the most attractive Irish man I know. Sorry Brad."

"I particularly like this book because it has high quality footnotes."

Anonymous said: "Sometimes I just lie in bed and wonder 'Is my uterus toned enough?'"

But is it??

Anonymous said: "I'm a woman of simple needs. I just need cookies and occasional sex, and since I can only get one of those on a daily basis, I expect it to be there!"

"My sister said that I should text him back , to tell him that I’m gay."

Only I can judge here

"Stop judging me! This is my safe space, bitch!"

ALWAYS

I COMPOST. I ALWAYS COMPOST.

"Do you ever feel like there are just spies trying to break in everywhere?"

…if you wanted to

"I could have straight sex if I wanted to!"