"Can I name your baby?"

"What would you name it?"

"Rumplestilskin"

Like, literally

I was so mad! Like, you’ve literally licked my vagina!

Anonymous said: "I swear to god if she doesn't pick up I will castrate every single male" "What-" "Every. Single. Male."

"Seriously it’s like it’s raining Brooks Brothers in my room"

Where are you looking?!

"Her personality is what’s sexy there? She’s not wearing a shirt!"

"I don’t have time to shave my legs, how am I going to have time to be Nisei Week Queen?"

"I think that when you are queen they shave your legs for you"

"Oh no, I would never say that. My jokes are funny"

"Can I take birth control with hard cider?"

One track mind

"What, pancakes? Are we talking about pancakes?"

"And I thought, woah, is their bathroom haunted?"

"I don’t care if Teddy Roosevelt was in your frat. He’s dead. He’s not gonna help you network!

I’m too sexy

"Don’t NOT play sexual songs just because I entered the room!"

The cheese is crying because you’re leaving!”

zzz

"By the way, I once almost read a book about narcolepsy."

Over dinner at Tower dining hall

"I think this was maybe the first time I realized how beautiful my breasts were"