"Did you say ‘these hos don’t know?’"
"No! Why would I say that? I said ‘these hos ain’t loyal.’”
"Just to clarify - I am way hotter than him, right?"
groans and then pause
"Why won’t this log me in? Sakai, why are you being a little bitch?"
You’re a UU? I thought you were bi?
"I don’t need anyone critiquing my writing! I’ve already had a creative writing class today!"
"Guys, it’s Tindr"
"I saw her tits so hardcore"
"Captain American. The saddest Avenger."
"Out by Christmas - it’s like the gay version of Ring by Spring."
"I can’t figure out how much of this is uterus related and how much of this is real feelings!"
"Guys, I can’t deal with this level of Candy Crush."
"What? You’re playing Candy Crush?!"
"I need a break after Confucius!!"
Rule #1: Don’t touch other people’s balls.
"I read very fast! I could read the third Harry Potter book while watching the movie!"
"How are you guys not impressed with this? This is how I pick up guys at the bar. Like, ‘I read real fast. Reallll fast.’ You guys suck."
"Could you do the fourth book and the fourth movie?"
"No, actually, I tried that."
"What are they be putting on these garlic knots?? It must be crack."
"You want to go to a bar? Let’s go pick up some professors!